My grandmother was a Brunner so I suppose she learned young how to make a mean sauerkraut, a richly inexpensive, labor intensive German dish made from cabbage. As a young child my mother gave it a go on occasion, probably as a nod to our German heritage, expecting her five children to love it as much as we oddly enough loved liver and onions.
I don't recall if I was the only one that despised sauerkraut but I do remember having to sit at the table and choke it down because coming from a large Catholic family, if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we were not given seconds of what we liked and often "strongly encourage" to sit until we finished our plate. I sobbed when we had sauerkraut, I begged when we had it (almost as much as when we had peas and eggplant) but to no avail. I ate the nasty stuff and hated every minute of it.
My mother figured out that it was easier and less stressful to make and serve food we all liked so I spent many a happy years not eating my least favorite food, the dreaded sour-beyond-belief-sauerkraut that tasted like my brothers' socks smelled.
When I first got engaged and we spent 7 days at the future in-laws house for a week during Christmas break from college, I was thrilled. My future mother-in-law was the consummate hostess. She loved having family near. She balanced an ex-husband, a current husband, three kids, her mother, her brother and many beloved friends during the holidays. Their house was the place one wanted to be.
The house was decorated, the cookies were baked, the food was plentiful and we played games every night. The tree was bursting with new gifts and memories in each ornament of years gone by. The fireplace was roaring and everyone ran to the door when someone arrived. It was a place filled with love, laughter, joy and a reason to celebrate how lucky we all were to be under that roof.
The holiday arrived and we all had more gifts than anyone deserved. We had amazing meals and we all watched as Judy conducted the show. The kids ironically talked about how "Mom always blows up during the holidays." and took side bets on which day that would happen. At the time I foolishly thought it was kind of amusing and wondered why it happened but didn't take the time to try to understand why. It would be many years before that piece of the puzzle found it's way to me.
After a week of amazing dinners and late night celebrations on our last day Judy announced we'd be having sauerkraut and sausages for our final meal. I was instantly a 7 year old child who sadly felt it was appropriate to express on several occasions how I felt about sauerkraut. As it slowly simmered on the stove I was relentless in my rudeness about my distaste for it and as I reflect back on my 20 year old self, I am ashamed.
I inwardly cringe when I think about the fact that my rant was the cause of my future Mother-in-laws meltdown that year.
Up to that point I had no idea what her kids had been talking about then I found myself deservedly at the center of it. She blew up. She put me in my place and let me know how ungrateful I was and how hard it is to cook for a house full of people for a week and to make everything perfect and to decorate and have no one help and to stay up late playing games and doing everything possible to make it perfect for her family (deep breath here) and to spend all that money and time and effort and to make a very special family meal (she was born a Freytag) and to have someone be so rude about it.....you get the picture. I'm six feet tall and I felt about three feet tall.
Fast forward 35 years.
I can't help but cry when I take down my decorations. I cry because of the treasured memories encompassed in not only the decor but in the act of taking it all down and reflecting on the season and the many memories of celebrations gone by. I am certain that when my then future MIL took down her decorations that year, it was with a mixture of sadness, anger, happiness, relief and resentment.
After 30 plus years of recreating the story book Christmas for my own young and many family members and friends, with the women in my life; my mother, my MIL and generations of loving women leading families as my example, I now understand.
I show love to my family by making my home, my meals, my time and my presence the present during the holidays. It takes effort. It takes time. It takes money and it takes planning. It takes it's toll, one that my ancestral females all simultaneously suffered from and treasured.
I don't know if there is a local bookie that annually secures my children's bets on when I'll melt down, but from their gentle teasing I know they expect that it might happen. Some traditions just carry on no matter what we do to prevent them.
So while taking down the decor and tucking away the seasons newest memories I'm reminded.
I remember that fateful day that I was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm reminded that my own clan is too young to understand my own experience of the season and that our own sauerkraut moments are bound to happen.
I know with certainty that someday I will pass the baton to one of my unsuspecting daughters or daughter in laws and I will sit back and remember.
I will know that the joy they experience is worth the moments they won't be proud of.
I will know that they do it out of love for the season and for their family.
I will know that they too will cry when they take down the decorations that represent so many decades of memories both to be treasured and carefully tucked away into a space of shame with the promise of doing better next year.
I will know that they will hope for the perfect holiday but that the perfect holiday means someone will likely blow up and that it will most likely be them.
I will know that in 30 years, they will have the grace to gaze lovingly upon their young and know and understand the future baton holders aren't capable of understanding that sauerkraut at Christmas might just be a part of the equation and that it's a dish best served in the warmth of family, love and tradition.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Thursday, September 11, 2014
My first and second husband: Part III
For those that have been or are married for any length of time, it's no secret that marriage is hard. It's work. Think of your last roommate and about the simple things like negotiating who is paying for what, who is doing the dishes, who does or doesn't pick their towel up off the floor and who doesn't know the nuances of proper toilet paper installation. Negotiation is a part of relationships that begin when we are kids, siblings, mates of some sort, then a permanent partner.
Knowing this doesn't make it easier to repair a broken relationship especially years after a divorce.
So when I began dating my ex husband without anyone's knowledge and sneaking to counseling with him, I was skeptical at best but felt it was worth the "old college try" for a few reasons as follows:
1) After dating several other men I realized that there was really only ONE man in the world that would love my son as much as I did and it was his father.
2) After dating several other men I realized that the one I'd originally chosen wasn't as bad as maybe I imagined him to be at several points throughout our marriage. I hope you know that the word "several" is an exaggeration on all counts.
3) After time worked it's magic anger was replaced with things like respect, excitement to see him take on responsibility I wished for before and affection. There is nothing sexier than watching a man parent his child...nothing.
It was a very sweet time in our lives. There was no pressure, from each other or anyone else since no one else knew what we were up to. (Keep in mind there was no Facebook or gasp....should I say internet during this time period.)
It was peaceful, restorative and healing.
It was fun and it felt like we were doing something uniquely our own that shut out the world and was focused only on us as a couple and our future as a family.
Joe's work had an annual event in McCall so we decided to go together and while I arranged for Alex to be taken care of by my family, we snuck away for the weekend with his company filled with people who didn't really know that much or care about our history and were not surprised by my presence. It was fun to be incognito and to practice being a couple again. I don't remember the second "first kiss" in our relationship but I remember being nervous about it. Evidently things went as one might expect, swimmingly.
It was just what we needed. We decided to give it another try and still didn't want to tell anyone until we were "sure". It wasn't long after this that my mom said we should take another family photo.
Faced with the dilemma of taking a family picture without Joe who I literally thought might be BACK IN THE PICTURE presented a challenge.
I still didn't feel like it was the right time to tell my family we were giving it another "GO" but by the same token I was reluctant to get family photo's without Joe in the picture because I was filled with hope.
I mustered up the courage to ask my mom if she cared using the excuse that Joe was Alex's dad so would always be a part of his life and therefore he should be in the picture. She fell for this clever ruse and said yes, My siblings looked at us like "what the hell" when Joe arrived and either my pleading looks or my mom's silent "mother" glare that can only silence her own children worked. There were questions after but I still didn't fess up. I just wasn't ready to hear what other people had to say about it.
For a woman who thinks she doesn't have good intuition,my mom's radar was going off like mad. Oprah was a new program on the TV and my mom called me one day and told me about how there had been these divorced couples that wanted to get back together but their biggest barriers were their families. She told me that if I ever wanted to get back together with Joe she didn't want to stand in the way and neither would anyone else in our family. I still didn't say a word.
I'm incredibly grateful for that time together to just focus on us as a couple without the scrutiny of others. While I'm not a big secret keeper unless it belongs to someone else, I kept this one close to my heart. It reminds me of that brief time after my dad died that only our family knew...no one else. It's intimate, precious, without prying eyes, judgement and without the opinions of others or the world crashing in. It was just us, deciding about our future.
In that future we envisioned a bigger family, a happier family and hope for a future yet unborn.
Just three years earlier I'd stood in Alex's pediatricians office in Reno, Nevada and told him we were moving to Idaho because I was getting a divorce. This man gave me a gift that day I'll never be able to repay.
He said, "See that little boy who looks so much like his father? As he grows up and looks in the mirror he will see the reflection of his dad and what you say about his dad and how you talk about him to others is how he'll see himself."
What a gift. Really, what a gift.
My thoughts and anger and frustration and all the things we spew when we end a relationship, Alex was shielded from as much as humanely possible. So when we told Alex we were getting married, while he didn't completely understand what that would mean, he was happy and couldn't wait to be a part of the ceremony.
We set our date for May 31, 1989 which was a Wednesday. We decided that we didn't want two dates to remember and it seemed fitting. When we went to the Catholic church to plan the wedding, we were informed that according to the church we were still married and had only been civilly divorced. Head shaking ensued and we commenced with the planning of our renewal of vows.
The big day arrived and as I walked down the aisle toward my two fella's standing on the alter I was struck by how lucky we were to have a second chance. How lucky we were for forgiveness and grace and for the love we just couldn't deny. How very lucky.
When Joe and I clasped hands to renew our vows, this little person came up and stood between us, looking up at us. There is not a picture of this anywhere I know of other than my mind. The audible gasps and aww's from the crowd gathered to bless us that day echoed what was in my heart. Perfection. A little family restored.
Our second marriage began that day and we now count from the first date, not the second. We call those the growing up years that helped us grow together again. If we hadn't had that time to work on ourselves it might never have happened.
I'm not sure I have any sage advice on how to keep a marriage strong, or going or even how to avoid a divorce. All I know for sure is even the second time around, it's still hard, it's still work and it's still terribly rewarding and wonderful all at once.
For us it's a matter of knowing we CAN live without each other but daily choosing not to. It's not something we fantasize about, it's not something we imagine, it's something we lived and by living it made a choice that we are better together than apart.
My friend Janet's mom has an assortment of sayings that resonate with me. The one that perhaps is the best piece of advice, if you will, goes something like this:
"A successful marriage is one where you don't want to get divorced on the same day."
Getting remarried didn't and doesn't make us immune from wondering sometimes why we did it again. It's that choice that is made every time one has the thought that they may want to throw in the towel.
We both know we can throw in the towel but we both know what life is like without our matching Mr. and Mrs. towels side by side. It's been 34 years since that first vow taking and I'm planning on at least 34 more if he'll have me.
Knowing this doesn't make it easier to repair a broken relationship especially years after a divorce.
So when I began dating my ex husband without anyone's knowledge and sneaking to counseling with him, I was skeptical at best but felt it was worth the "old college try" for a few reasons as follows:
1) After dating several other men I realized that there was really only ONE man in the world that would love my son as much as I did and it was his father.
2) After dating several other men I realized that the one I'd originally chosen wasn't as bad as maybe I imagined him to be at several points throughout our marriage. I hope you know that the word "several" is an exaggeration on all counts.
3) After time worked it's magic anger was replaced with things like respect, excitement to see him take on responsibility I wished for before and affection. There is nothing sexier than watching a man parent his child...nothing.
It was a very sweet time in our lives. There was no pressure, from each other or anyone else since no one else knew what we were up to. (Keep in mind there was no Facebook or gasp....should I say internet during this time period.)
It was peaceful, restorative and healing.
It was fun and it felt like we were doing something uniquely our own that shut out the world and was focused only on us as a couple and our future as a family.
Joe's work had an annual event in McCall so we decided to go together and while I arranged for Alex to be taken care of by my family, we snuck away for the weekend with his company filled with people who didn't really know that much or care about our history and were not surprised by my presence. It was fun to be incognito and to practice being a couple again. I don't remember the second "first kiss" in our relationship but I remember being nervous about it. Evidently things went as one might expect, swimmingly.
It was just what we needed. We decided to give it another try and still didn't want to tell anyone until we were "sure". It wasn't long after this that my mom said we should take another family photo.
Faced with the dilemma of taking a family picture without Joe who I literally thought might be BACK IN THE PICTURE presented a challenge.
I still didn't feel like it was the right time to tell my family we were giving it another "GO" but by the same token I was reluctant to get family photo's without Joe in the picture because I was filled with hope.
I mustered up the courage to ask my mom if she cared using the excuse that Joe was Alex's dad so would always be a part of his life and therefore he should be in the picture. She fell for this clever ruse and said yes, My siblings looked at us like "what the hell" when Joe arrived and either my pleading looks or my mom's silent "mother" glare that can only silence her own children worked. There were questions after but I still didn't fess up. I just wasn't ready to hear what other people had to say about it.
For a woman who thinks she doesn't have good intuition,my mom's radar was going off like mad. Oprah was a new program on the TV and my mom called me one day and told me about how there had been these divorced couples that wanted to get back together but their biggest barriers were their families. She told me that if I ever wanted to get back together with Joe she didn't want to stand in the way and neither would anyone else in our family. I still didn't say a word.
I'm incredibly grateful for that time together to just focus on us as a couple without the scrutiny of others. While I'm not a big secret keeper unless it belongs to someone else, I kept this one close to my heart. It reminds me of that brief time after my dad died that only our family knew...no one else. It's intimate, precious, without prying eyes, judgement and without the opinions of others or the world crashing in. It was just us, deciding about our future.
In that future we envisioned a bigger family, a happier family and hope for a future yet unborn.
Just three years earlier I'd stood in Alex's pediatricians office in Reno, Nevada and told him we were moving to Idaho because I was getting a divorce. This man gave me a gift that day I'll never be able to repay.
He said, "See that little boy who looks so much like his father? As he grows up and looks in the mirror he will see the reflection of his dad and what you say about his dad and how you talk about him to others is how he'll see himself."
What a gift. Really, what a gift.
My thoughts and anger and frustration and all the things we spew when we end a relationship, Alex was shielded from as much as humanely possible. So when we told Alex we were getting married, while he didn't completely understand what that would mean, he was happy and couldn't wait to be a part of the ceremony.
We set our date for May 31, 1989 which was a Wednesday. We decided that we didn't want two dates to remember and it seemed fitting. When we went to the Catholic church to plan the wedding, we were informed that according to the church we were still married and had only been civilly divorced. Head shaking ensued and we commenced with the planning of our renewal of vows.
The big day arrived and as I walked down the aisle toward my two fella's standing on the alter I was struck by how lucky we were to have a second chance. How lucky we were for forgiveness and grace and for the love we just couldn't deny. How very lucky.
When Joe and I clasped hands to renew our vows, this little person came up and stood between us, looking up at us. There is not a picture of this anywhere I know of other than my mind. The audible gasps and aww's from the crowd gathered to bless us that day echoed what was in my heart. Perfection. A little family restored.
Our second marriage began that day and we now count from the first date, not the second. We call those the growing up years that helped us grow together again. If we hadn't had that time to work on ourselves it might never have happened.
I'm not sure I have any sage advice on how to keep a marriage strong, or going or even how to avoid a divorce. All I know for sure is even the second time around, it's still hard, it's still work and it's still terribly rewarding and wonderful all at once.
For us it's a matter of knowing we CAN live without each other but daily choosing not to. It's not something we fantasize about, it's not something we imagine, it's something we lived and by living it made a choice that we are better together than apart.
My friend Janet's mom has an assortment of sayings that resonate with me. The one that perhaps is the best piece of advice, if you will, goes something like this:
"A successful marriage is one where you don't want to get divorced on the same day."
Getting remarried didn't and doesn't make us immune from wondering sometimes why we did it again. It's that choice that is made every time one has the thought that they may want to throw in the towel.
We both know we can throw in the towel but we both know what life is like without our matching Mr. and Mrs. towels side by side. It's been 34 years since that first vow taking and I'm planning on at least 34 more if he'll have me.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
I am lucky indeed.
It is a rare person that is able to experience the joy of watching lives unfold over several years through their work. I'm one of the lucky few that meets people, often at their worst and get to see their lives transformed right before my eyes.
You see, I never just meet a mom or a kid or a dad and their kid, I meet families. People come to me as a parent and a child or two parents and a child or two or three (parents or kids).....No matter what that family looks like when they arrive, I get to meet them when they are young.
By young I mean the family is young. That parent might be 40 or that parent might be 14. It doesn't matter because both of them have just started down a journey that hopefully...if they are lucky...never ends in the adults lifetime.
This week in particular I was struck by conversations with parents who have been with us in the past or even currently but for several years because their kids are older and what they said. It's what they say that blows me away.
One mom was bragging about how her child can now jump on the couch and say bad words and he just turned 5. Most parents would be appalled at these behaviors but she's celebrating that he has made strides despite his disability and wanted to share her joy with us. She recognized that she will someday have to tell him not to do those things but is also so excited that he is now doing them...the things most parents take for granted, she simply doesn't. It was heart wrenching to go through the steps of helping she and her partner to realize he had a disability but I'm happy I was there.
Another came in and congratulated us for receiving the BBB Torch Award for Ethics. She has brought 4 kids to our centers and said she wouldn't take them anywhere else. They are all in private school except for the baby and her words of affirmation meant so much. This mom can take her children anywhere, but she chooses us.
Another mom reached out to me just to send good thoughts my way. Her children are in elementary school now and she lives in another state but wanted me to know she was thinking about me. My gosh, how lucky am I to have this family in my life? One would think our connection would simply be over as her children aged out. Was it because she had breast cancer when they were little and we collectively worried while her kids were little or was it fate that we met and still adore one another? I don't know, but I'm grateful for that life line and friendship.
Then there is one of my longest connections with a woman that I admire and equally love for just being her. She told me that when she and her best friend who also had a son at GL would have a problem they would say, "Let's call Lori, she'll know what to do." Just like all of us, myself included, we don't always want to listen to our moms, so they had someone else they would listen to (even though I probably gave the same advice) don't we all need that non familial voice?
This one is special to me though. Her son was a baby when he arrived and we haven't lost touch even though he's in college now. The warmth I feel when I think about her and the connection we have is based on mutual respect, admiration and genuine love. She was a scared and young mom when I first met her and she is no longer that person. I was able to see her grow into herself and her vision of the best version of herself, but also watch and hear about her son growing into a person that she is proud of and that he is proud of.
I don't always get to see things start to finish. I often lose touch or they move or I wasn't their go-to-person, but there are enough that I do see start to finish (even though we're never really finished) that I know it's good. I know I'm lucky. I know they're lucky too....that we found each other and that our spheres get to intersect for this span of time when we need each other the most.
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." John C. Maxwell.
I get to share a little bit about what I know with parents when they need it the most.
I get to share my passion for families everyday of my life.
I get to be a part of the most important part of a persons life, when they are young and their family is young.
When my own children become parents I know they will think that my advice might be outdated (even though I spent time this morning coaching a new mom with a 6 week old through her concerns). But that's okay. I hope they all find their Lori who will give them advice and help navigate them through their fears and insecurities and whom they will connect for a lifetime.
I am lucky indeed.
You see, I never just meet a mom or a kid or a dad and their kid, I meet families. People come to me as a parent and a child or two parents and a child or two or three (parents or kids).....No matter what that family looks like when they arrive, I get to meet them when they are young.
By young I mean the family is young. That parent might be 40 or that parent might be 14. It doesn't matter because both of them have just started down a journey that hopefully...if they are lucky...never ends in the adults lifetime.
This week in particular I was struck by conversations with parents who have been with us in the past or even currently but for several years because their kids are older and what they said. It's what they say that blows me away.
One mom was bragging about how her child can now jump on the couch and say bad words and he just turned 5. Most parents would be appalled at these behaviors but she's celebrating that he has made strides despite his disability and wanted to share her joy with us. She recognized that she will someday have to tell him not to do those things but is also so excited that he is now doing them...the things most parents take for granted, she simply doesn't. It was heart wrenching to go through the steps of helping she and her partner to realize he had a disability but I'm happy I was there.
Another came in and congratulated us for receiving the BBB Torch Award for Ethics. She has brought 4 kids to our centers and said she wouldn't take them anywhere else. They are all in private school except for the baby and her words of affirmation meant so much. This mom can take her children anywhere, but she chooses us.
Another mom reached out to me just to send good thoughts my way. Her children are in elementary school now and she lives in another state but wanted me to know she was thinking about me. My gosh, how lucky am I to have this family in my life? One would think our connection would simply be over as her children aged out. Was it because she had breast cancer when they were little and we collectively worried while her kids were little or was it fate that we met and still adore one another? I don't know, but I'm grateful for that life line and friendship.
Then there is one of my longest connections with a woman that I admire and equally love for just being her. She told me that when she and her best friend who also had a son at GL would have a problem they would say, "Let's call Lori, she'll know what to do." Just like all of us, myself included, we don't always want to listen to our moms, so they had someone else they would listen to (even though I probably gave the same advice) don't we all need that non familial voice?
This one is special to me though. Her son was a baby when he arrived and we haven't lost touch even though he's in college now. The warmth I feel when I think about her and the connection we have is based on mutual respect, admiration and genuine love. She was a scared and young mom when I first met her and she is no longer that person. I was able to see her grow into herself and her vision of the best version of herself, but also watch and hear about her son growing into a person that she is proud of and that he is proud of.
I don't always get to see things start to finish. I often lose touch or they move or I wasn't their go-to-person, but there are enough that I do see start to finish (even though we're never really finished) that I know it's good. I know I'm lucky. I know they're lucky too....that we found each other and that our spheres get to intersect for this span of time when we need each other the most.
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." John C. Maxwell.
I get to share a little bit about what I know with parents when they need it the most.
I get to share my passion for families everyday of my life.
I get to be a part of the most important part of a persons life, when they are young and their family is young.
When my own children become parents I know they will think that my advice might be outdated (even though I spent time this morning coaching a new mom with a 6 week old through her concerns). But that's okay. I hope they all find their Lori who will give them advice and help navigate them through their fears and insecurities and whom they will connect for a lifetime.
I am lucky indeed.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Conversating with Susie
I'm a firm believer in conversations. I think it brings us together and is the glue of our relationships. In the words of Sam to Diane on Cheers, "I like to conversate."
Every day I have opportunities to conversate with many people very important to me. Today was no different. I talked with my husband and luckily all three of my kids, two of them in person! It was a stellar day for conversations with my immediate family.
I also was able to talk with my mom and my youngest sister which while pretty standard is always a fulfilling part of my conversations each day. My mom is 83, so how many more of these conversations will we have? One never really knows. Having lost my dad at the tender age of 16, I know not to take these conversations for granted.
I talked with my staff and teachers today on several fronts, on several topics and in several different ways. How they delight me with their intelligence and passion for our mission. I talked with parents served by our program and felt the passion rise in me as I heard their needs expressed so vividly.
I talked with one of our preschoolers about his art project and how he was going to give his painstaking gift to his grandma and why and to my two year old friend who got her first potty sticker.
I talked with my career coach and my mentor who guided me beyond myself and my worries and my fears and led me to places I know I need to go and need to grow.
I talked with my passionate board members who dismay me every day with their love for what we do and their willingness to seek better ways of doing it.
I talked with the internet guy about repairing our slow internet and while it wasn't my favorite conversation he promised to help me, so he's my new best friend.
I had a deep, abiding, conversation with one of my closest friends about life, love and happiness which ended in hugs and prayers for each others intentions.
But my final conversation of the day, the one that was the time best spent, was with my sister only two years younger than me. You see, this conversation is different from all the others. When I call Susie it is a return call because she has tried to call me twice already about this. Once last night, and once today and has been put off too often and needs to tell me about the movie she watched last night.
When we first get on the phone she initially informs me about the weather report for the next seven days. All of which she lists, then gives me the details...followed by her recommendations for the children, i.e., "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday the weather will be sunny and nice, so tell the teachers the little kids can go outside, but Friday, Saturday, Sunday the weather will be cold and rainy so let the teachers know the kids need to play inside."
I am then asked for a full report every few days about what the teachers said when I told them what the kids could do.
You see even though my sister is only two years younger than me she is eternally about the age of six. This means that sometimes I am short on time or patience and I find myself doing several other things besides listening to her report when she calls. But tonight was different. I was alone in my car and I was so glad I called.
Susie told me about a movie she watched. A home movie...one where many of our family members who once were alive and are now gone, were in the movie. She told me everything they said and everything that happened in the movie and before I knew it I was transported back into time and could see us all at the lake, perched on the edge of the dock, playing "King of the Dock" pretending to be knocked in by her and the incredible joy that brought her and us!
Before I knew it we were giggling like little girls again and I was suddenly eight years old and she, her eternal six, and we were just sisters having fun laughing at our combined family antics that were the mainstay of our childhood. I was a little girl again and the time travel was genuine.
How many of us are lucky enough to have someone who reminds us so clearly of who we were when we were young? I've known Susie all of my life and don't remember a time that she hasn't represented our childhood. This is different from our siblings or childhood friends, this is truly someone who still sees the world through the eyes of a six year old and always will.
I had a lot of really wonderful, life changing conversations today with people I love, people I admire, people I adore and people I treasure.
But the best conversation I had today was with Susie, who reminded me of where I came from, who I was and what's really important in life....good weather and conversating with those we love.
Every day I have opportunities to conversate with many people very important to me. Today was no different. I talked with my husband and luckily all three of my kids, two of them in person! It was a stellar day for conversations with my immediate family.
I also was able to talk with my mom and my youngest sister which while pretty standard is always a fulfilling part of my conversations each day. My mom is 83, so how many more of these conversations will we have? One never really knows. Having lost my dad at the tender age of 16, I know not to take these conversations for granted.
I talked with my staff and teachers today on several fronts, on several topics and in several different ways. How they delight me with their intelligence and passion for our mission. I talked with parents served by our program and felt the passion rise in me as I heard their needs expressed so vividly.
I talked with one of our preschoolers about his art project and how he was going to give his painstaking gift to his grandma and why and to my two year old friend who got her first potty sticker.
I talked with my career coach and my mentor who guided me beyond myself and my worries and my fears and led me to places I know I need to go and need to grow.
I talked with my passionate board members who dismay me every day with their love for what we do and their willingness to seek better ways of doing it.
I talked with the internet guy about repairing our slow internet and while it wasn't my favorite conversation he promised to help me, so he's my new best friend.
I had a deep, abiding, conversation with one of my closest friends about life, love and happiness which ended in hugs and prayers for each others intentions.
But my final conversation of the day, the one that was the time best spent, was with my sister only two years younger than me. You see, this conversation is different from all the others. When I call Susie it is a return call because she has tried to call me twice already about this. Once last night, and once today and has been put off too often and needs to tell me about the movie she watched last night.
When we first get on the phone she initially informs me about the weather report for the next seven days. All of which she lists, then gives me the details...followed by her recommendations for the children, i.e., "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday the weather will be sunny and nice, so tell the teachers the little kids can go outside, but Friday, Saturday, Sunday the weather will be cold and rainy so let the teachers know the kids need to play inside."
I am then asked for a full report every few days about what the teachers said when I told them what the kids could do.
You see even though my sister is only two years younger than me she is eternally about the age of six. This means that sometimes I am short on time or patience and I find myself doing several other things besides listening to her report when she calls. But tonight was different. I was alone in my car and I was so glad I called.
Susie told me about a movie she watched. A home movie...one where many of our family members who once were alive and are now gone, were in the movie. She told me everything they said and everything that happened in the movie and before I knew it I was transported back into time and could see us all at the lake, perched on the edge of the dock, playing "King of the Dock" pretending to be knocked in by her and the incredible joy that brought her and us!
Before I knew it we were giggling like little girls again and I was suddenly eight years old and she, her eternal six, and we were just sisters having fun laughing at our combined family antics that were the mainstay of our childhood. I was a little girl again and the time travel was genuine.
How many of us are lucky enough to have someone who reminds us so clearly of who we were when we were young? I've known Susie all of my life and don't remember a time that she hasn't represented our childhood. This is different from our siblings or childhood friends, this is truly someone who still sees the world through the eyes of a six year old and always will.
I had a lot of really wonderful, life changing conversations today with people I love, people I admire, people I adore and people I treasure.
But the best conversation I had today was with Susie, who reminded me of where I came from, who I was and what's really important in life....good weather and conversating with those we love.
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