In June we honor dads or the men in our children’s lives.
This is one of the most important jobs a man can have and the impact of a
father on a son or daughter’s life is profound. I had a wonderful father for
the first 16 years of my life. His sudden departure from a heart attack left my
mom with 5 teenagers, one with special needs (no, not me) and her career was as
a piano teacher from home and caring for her big family. It was hard, but we
made it and I truly feel that the impact my dad had on us when we were younger
helped get us through the really tough times without him. Here’s 16 things I
learned from my dad in 16 short years.
11)
I learned that if you want something, work hard
for it. My dad always had big dreams and he worked so hard to make his dreams
happen.
22)
I learned to work with my hands. One of my dad’s
big dreams was to build a log cabin on our property in Coeur d’ Alene. It took
over a decade to happen, but in that time we learned to make cement, build
footings, frame walls, cut wood and logs, build reinforcement walls, make a
plan and the list goes on. He passed away just before it was finished.
33)
I learned to dream big. My dad was a dreamer and
he was a visionary. He loved technology (the little that existed back then) and
often talked of the future where cars would drive themselves and TV’s would
hang on walls.
44)
I learned to appreciate the stars. My dad loved
astronomy and he spent many hours looking through a telescope and teaching me
about the world outside of our planet.
55)
I learned to listen to people. My dad was a
really good listener. He rarely jumped to conclusions and had a true interest
in what people had to say. He would come home and go to each of us and ask
about our day, then he would listen. What a gift that is especially when a man
listens to his daughter and shows interest in her world.
66)
I learned about justice. One time he saw me hit
my best friend when I was way beyond the age of it being developmentally
appropriate. He came out and told us both to come in and he sat down and made
us talk through it. He listened and he meted out justice. I had to apologize,
but in the long run, I kept my friend.
77)
I learned about forgiveness. My dad was one of
the kindest people I know. He gave people the benefit of the doubt and forgave
slights in a way that made him easy to be your friend.
88)
I learned about faith and tradition. We were
raised Catholic and no matter where we were we always attended mass. One time
he attended in his bright orange bathing suit because we didn’t have time for
him to change his clothes and he said, “God doesn’t care, he cares more if I’m
not here.” The congregation evidently cared though because the next week in the
bulletin it said, “No bathing suits at church please.”
99)
I learned that education is crucial. We lived in
Maryland and would drive to our cabin in Northern Idaho every summer. On these
trips we drove through Moscow, where both my parents went to college and he
would proclaim, “This is where you kids will go to school.” We’d pour out of
the car and walk around the gorgeous campus and 3 out of 5 of us did go to
school there.
110)
I learned how to drive. My dad LOVED driving a
car, in fact he loved cars. He was an engineer that built dams for a living but
was passionate about engines and vehicles. We had six vehicles at times which
we didn’t realize the neighbors hated until my sister told a friend my dad
bought my mom a new car, and she proclaimed, “Is it another junker?”
111)
I learned to take time to travel. My dad took 5
weeks off every summer and we drove out to Idaho, a 2,500 mile trip in a
station wagon with 7 people and 2 dogs. My parents made this the best memories
of our lives. The getting there was equally as much fun as being there.
112)
I learned the importance of eating dinner
together. My dad and mom insisted that we eat dinner together even when we had
jobs and homework and school and practice. We still had dinner together almost
every night and when he passed away it was the thing I missed most.
113)
I learned to love music. My mom was the official
musician yet my dad was a piano player who loved to improvise. He would begin a
song and I would recognize it then he’d go off on some tangent and create his
own version of it. It was always hard to sing along, but we laughed a lot about
it. We all played an instrument and some of my favorite memories are of us as a
band.
114)
I learned to hope. In Maryland we rarely had
snow. One Christmas Eve I was pretty sad about it and he told me not to lose
hope. That night about 1 a.m. he came in and woke me up and took me outside to
see snow on the ground. What a gift that moment was. We watched for several
minutes and by the morning it was gone. I learned to never give up hope.
115)
I learned to be funny. No one thinks the typical
engineer is funny but my dad was funny. He loved jokes, he would do a little
jig now and then and he would be silly at times. He teased us often, but never
in a way that made us feel less than.
116)
I learned to do my best. When my grades came in
and I was upset to show him I’d gotten a C in math (one of his favorite
subjects) we had a heart to heart. He asked me if I’d done my best. I responded
that I had. He told me that if I put everything I had into that grade then I should
be proud of it. I learned too to take pride in my accomplishments even when
they fell short of my expectations.
It’s the everyday, simple conversations, examples that are
set, moments to remember, that make up a relationship. Dads are super special.
They contribute beyond measure to the positive outcomes of their children. It
is my hope today that you love on your own dad and the dad or man who is
raising your children and recognize him for the incredible gift he is to this
world. Happy Father’s Day.
